College season has arrived yet again. The time when speakers are blasted at all times of the day, drinking is never out of the question, and empty condom wrappers can be found virtually anywhere on campus. Your parents may think they have you covered in terms of what you need for the school year, but let’s be honest, the notebooks, bed risers, and are shower caddies are for the birds. These are the 6 essentials you need to pack your car with for your most ruthless year at college yet.


Backpack- This might be the most important item during your time in college. Not for the typical reasons of just carrying books and notes like a 7th grader. You ever try to carry a 30 rack by yourself in one arm across campus? Dead shoulder for days. This solves all those problems when transporting your thirst quenching beverages, plus it is not as obvious. You will find yourself taking this thing out more times past 9pm than you do for class. Who says you can’t go to the library on a Saturday night at 11:30 anyways?


Shower shoes: It doesn’t matter where you live on campus, the bathrooms aren’t designed like the Venetian in Las Vegas. No matter how many times you see the cleaning crew in the bathroom, you are not going to trust those shower floors. Not after you saw the guy down the hall rush in there after downing  six tequila shots. Everybody is afraid of troll feet, so don’t let yours become  grimy. Invest in a nice pair of 5 dollar flip flops to protect the phalanges from all the sins.


Condoms: Self-explanatory. Nobody else wants to have babies with and receive other unimaginable gifts from that creature you scraped off the frat basement floor at 2am, and neither do you. Have fun, but be smart about it.

tank top

Tank top: The one piece of attire that never gets old, any time of the school year, regardless of gender. Day drinking is a must, and you will see tank tops every corner of campus with plenty of shoulders and arms being flaunted in the sun. Plus, what other kind of attire says you are here and ready to party other than a gloriously cut tank top?


10 dollar bill: It is amazing what you find a 10 dollar bill can get you on campus. Chip in 3 dollars for that pack of Keystone to get you and your buddies through the day, 2 dollars for a slice of two day old pizza at the convenience store for your single meal of the day, and still have 5 dollars left over for the keg at the raging house party that night. What more could you ask for in a day?


Giant fan- This item has two main uses. The obvious one is to keep you from sweating at night like you do when you climb those stairs to the dining hall after a night of heavy partying. The other is to knock out the sounds of either you or your roommate getting their bed squeak on with that gem that was scooped up a few hours earlier. Believe me a giant fan is more than necessary.