Cougars are everywhere in Vegas, and easy to spot with their silicon filled bodies and wardrobe trying desperately to hang on to their 25 year old mindset. Sure, there are quite a few divorcees heading into Sin City to have some fun with a young stallion, and they can surely show you a good time. The issue is after the deed is done, what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay. Cougars are usually unstable women, and are the queens of the follow up text, email, or Facebook friend request. They will want to tell you about how much their marriage failed, and looking for any reason to vent to you. Next thing you know, you are still getting a twice a month text from them 3 years later, asking when you will be heading back to Vegas. They are fun at the time, but the following headaches are not worth the slay.
Late Night Lurkers
The hot girls sauntering around the casino floor alone at 4am that look fresh faced, with a tiny dress and are overly friendly? Yeah, they are too good to be true. They are waiting for you to finish up your hand so you invite them up to your room to continue spending money on them. They are smart, and while you are ending your night in a hammered state of fun, just looking to get some, they are at the ready and are going to be asking for a quite a few bucks for a hotel room visit. Unless you are a celebrity, beautiful women in Vegas are not hanging out alone in the casino at 4am exactly begging for you to take them home. Be smart about who you waste your time with. If you want to spend the money, go for it, but there are plenty of late night spots in Vegas you can find the free fun you want.
You and your buddies buy a table at the club, filled with booze and fun. Suddenly a group of girls wander over and start hanging out, being overly friendly, and sucking down your booze. This is certainly a great time, and the reason you got the table in the first place. While a lot of the times these girls are looking to have a good time at the club, and also after the club in your room, be aware of bottle rats. Bottle rats are the girls that will pretend to enjoy your company because you got a table, but then as soon as the booze is gone they disappear quicker than they came. They will beg you to order champagne, upload pictures of your bottles to their social media accounts (without you in them of course), then pack up and head to the next table once yours is gone. It can be hard to decipher these girls from the ones that are genuinely interested in your late night fun game, so be wary.
It seems easy enough, but when your hammered in a city where there is a lot of plastic surgery, things can get fuzzy. Just know that not every woman is as womanly as they appear to be, so make sure you have a buddy that can help once over a girl. There are enough “women” in Vegas that are filling their panties with a bit more than you desired, that we had to make sure it’s known. With the amount of willing, fun women in Vegas, you don’t want to be the guy that went home with the broad that has the forearms of a lumberjack and whose name used to be Dave.
It is a well known fact that the biggest bachelor and bachelorette place to have a party is Vegas. As a guy, if you’re in Vegas you might be on the search for bachelorette parties left and right because we all know these tend to get a bit crazy, and this is the last hoorah for a broad before she takes the plunge. They are easy to spot out, with their sashes and penis inflatables abound. Before you stroll up to one of these girls though, think about how much drinking has probably been happening all day/night. Sure, the girl might be totally down to head to your room for one last fling, but more likely than not once you get her up to your room she will be too hammered to “hang out” and you will end up with a puking drunk mess on your floor, passing out while you just wanted to have some fun. Your best bet is to skip these groups as Vegas is filled with smokeshows, so why waste your time with a hammered group of girls that will probably toss up a block on their friend anyways?