Sex is great, nobody questions that statement. It is even better when you spice it up by trying something other than the traditional bed. Whether it is in a hot tub, on a kitchen counter, or on a park bench, sometimes you just need to get some. There are a million places to punch the monkey, and some are more popular than others because of the thrill they give you. Here are 3 of the biggest ones, and the harsh reality that comes with them:

Airplane mile high club. One of the holy grails of sex. Many people dream it, few achieve it. Sure, it sounds exhilarating, and quite frankly, the rush of it is. But when you start talking logistics of the act, it doesn’t make much sense. With airplane bathrooms becoming smaller by the year it seems, this does not leave much room for variety in positions, and the inevitable charlie horse will really put a cramp on your sex appeal. No one likes to watch the person they are defiling to be wincing in pain and needing long deep breaths to recover. Also, with much tighter security, your girl isn’t exactly going to be needing a wet floor sign from all the banging on the doors the flight attendants will be doing once they see you two sneak in the closet sized bathroom together. No one needs to go from midnight to six in a heartbeat. If you think you can pull off the mile high club, go for it, just know it will be more a forced event just to say you did it rather than enjoyable!

Beach lovemaking on a hot beach as the waves roll over the two of you in perfect harmony. That’s what you think of when you imagine doing the dirty deed on a beach. That’s not even close to the reality of it. You’re on a beach so it’s hot out, which means you are sweating all over each other, not sexy sweat either. The waves rolling over you means salt water fills your mouth, nose, and eyeballs, so you do that weird choking, squinting thing with your face. Plus, the force of the waves knock you two all around. Not to mention the obvious fact that there is sand on the beach, and getting that in cracks is no fun. You hear the term, “wiping your butt with sandpaper”, well this is reality here. Imagine a sand covered tube scraping it’s way inside an opening. Still sound appealing? Skip the sex on the beach besides at the bar.

Grassy Field Under The Stars

Oh so romantic: Your girl on her back, looking up at the starry night sky, with no one around in the dark cool air, as you plow into her while getting your bare butt chewed up by mosquitoes because it is dead of summer. This is the reality of this romantic scene. One of those scenes that sounds a lot better in your head. Let’s not forget the lumpy, rock filled bed you are on that’s called Earth. Not exactly desirable for the knees and elbows. Plus, grass stains and heavy breathing go together perfectly, right?…