Hot sun, hot bodies, and cold drinks are some of the many things to indulge in while on Spring Break. During your extra-curricular activities you are more than likely to meet your fair share of people, from all walks of life. Here are 5 you are sure to meet, as they seem to find their way into every Spring Break week.
Mr. Fratastic McBuffington. Probably one of the most common features of Spring Break every year, this guy finds the need to be the life of the party. Bulk Hogan and his friends storm the beach, fist pumping, being as obnoxious as possible to attract attention, while wearing his deeply cut tank top to prove to the female species that he is in fact, Tyrannosaurus Flex. Throttling beers and making contact with every female possible while waving his fraternity flag is the only thing on Mr. Fratastic McBuffington’s mind.
Father Time. You and your friends are destined to come across that creepy guy that is just a bit too old to be on Spring Break, but can’t seem to let go. He is by himself, with an awful tan, lurking around groups of girls while ignoring the whispers and laughs around him. He is the guy that joins you and your friends at the bar for shots, and tries to give terrible advice on what do on Spring Break.
The one that brought sand to the beach. It is inevitable you will meet someone awesome, who has a significant other back home. They will flirt with you all week, leading you to think they will be willing to hook up with you, and they will join you in your drunken games. When you try to make a move, they will pull away. Now you just wasted a week you could have been meeting members of the opposite sex you would never bring home to mom.
The Sloptart. This one is self-explanatory. This is the person that is drunk as everyone else is waking up, blacked out by 1pm and trying to rally by dinner time. They start to make you wonder if face-planting on the beach and projectile vomiting at the bar are the cool things to do, because it is an everyday occurrence for them.
Finally, you will run into the veteran. This is the person that has gone on Spring Break every year since being in high school, and has an impressive resume of destinations and mostly made up stories to brag about. While this person may know of all the cool bars to go to, every sentence will begin with, “This place is great, but last year…”. Use this person wisely, but after day 3 you will silently be hoping that they drank that tap water everybody told you not to touch and can’t leave their bathroom for the rest of the week.
