Not grilling food on the Fourth of July is like not having a tree at Christmas or not having turkey on Thanksgiving, it would just be weird. You need to have the essentials like burgers, dogs, and maybe a fat American steak. You will most likely be hammered while you grill, so don’t expect the food to be anywhere close to cooked correctly. Hopefully you enjoy your meat crispy. There is just something so American from firing the grill up and dominating some meat.
This goes without saying. This is a holiday celebrating our country’s independence, show some pride! If you’re at the beach or a pool, get ready to see some tiny, beautiful red white and blue bikinis, usually covered up a bit by jean shorts. People go all out for the Fourth of July, so don’t be that guy in a button down shirt. Wear an American flag cutoff, grab a handful of some good ol’ American booty in daisy dukes, and show you’re proud to be part of Uncle Sam’s family.
Copious amounts of beer
We could have just left it at “alcohol”, but that doesn’t do this American tradition justice. You need beer, lots of it, and it better be American made. Crack open a Bud heavy, a Sammy Adams, or your local micro brew, because it’s going to be a long day. If you see anyone feasting on a Corona, Dos Equis, or some other non American beer, you have every right to take the beer out of their hand, dump in on their head, and replace it with some American made suds. The Fourth of July is a time to get blackout drunk by 2pm with all of your friends, bronze the body in the summer sun, and chant USA repeatedly until someone loses their voice. The greatest all day drinking day of the year has arrived, take advantage of it.
This is simple, be in a good mood. This is a proud holiday, where every single person should be happy. Don’t be that person bringing the party down by being depressed about getting dumped, fired, or that your house burned down. No one has time to listen to your minor problems. There are only 24 hours to jam out on this holiday, so put on your happy vibes, and celebrate with everyone. It’s the pinnacle of summer, what is there to not be happy about?!
The Fourth of July is a great time to go watch fireworks, and the day really isn’t complete until you do so. Sure, you can go ahead and head to the town center to watch some explosions in the sky with the rest of the town, including the crying babies and their parents giving you dirty looks because you are so hammered you are clapping obnoxiously after every single explosion. The better and more fun option though is to be prepared with your own fireworks. That’s right, stock up, find a field, beach, or parking lot somewhere and let them rip. Is it dangerous and most likely illegal to light your own fireworks while being so drunk it takes you 17 tries to light the fuse? Sure thing, but is it way more fun and exciting? Absolutely. There is just something about creating your own explosions with friends on the Fourth that just makes the day complete. As long as there aren’t any homes, cars, or anything else that can explode or catch on fire quickly right next to you, have a little fun.