America’s birthday is less than a week away, and if you haven’t started preparing your party plans, then you need to get on it immediately, or find a new country to live in. The greatest holiday on earth is just about here, and July 4th is no slouch. We are celebrating our independence here people, so you better go balls to the wall. How do you do that you ask? Well lucky for you and your patriotic desperation, we have you covered on everything you need to bleed red white and blue all day on July 4th, and to show everyone can be a thoroughbred American on this day.
American flag gear
This is a no brainer. Contrary to most things, in this case, less is NOT more. You want to drape yourself in the red white and blue, represent the flag as hard as you can. We are talking bandanas, speedos, fanny packs, shorts, socks, etc. Anything you can find, utilize it. Find a shirt with a soaring bald eagle on it? Buy it and wear it immediately. No fabric should touch your skin this weekend if it doesn’t have the three greatest colors there are on it. The only exception here is the ladies. If a teensy american flag bikini top and daisy dukes are being rocked, then that is more than enough freedom flags for us. Just make sure you get into it, because any party you go to, everyone else is sure to have their colors bleeding hard.
Happy vibes only
Every holiday should be a happy celebration, but this one takes the American pie. Remember, this is a birthday celebration. Nobody wants the Debbie Downers or negative Nancies rolling around. Keep that trash at home, and enjoy the day with your friends. Nothing will kill a mood faster than a commie that seemingly doesn’t to be at the party. It’s summer, it’s July, it’s a long weekend, and god damnit it’s America. Put your game face on, which is a smile and hooting and hollering all day.
American beer
Even if you’re not a big beer drinker, you better slug down the American brews before you even consider another country’s frothy beverage. We are talking Budweiser, Coors, Sam Adams, etc. Heck, snag a keg of it for your party, and you won’t hear anybody complaining.
Meat to grill
You are going to need some substance in you to soak up all that American glory, so make sure you have plenty of meat to toss on that grill. You can certainly have other foods there as well, but make sure you bring the meat, because that is what American’s do. Red meat preferably. Slam some burgers on the grill alongside a fat steak, and you immediately will forget about any other heritage you thought you were. Pairing this with those frosty brewskis will have the American pride beaming out of you. If you want to celebrate the 4th of July the right way, this is exactly what you need.
Whiskey
Again, this just screams America. Once the glorious liquid hits your veins, you will feel overcome with American pride, and find the need to give a speech in front of the capitol building in Washington D.C. Whiskey is an American staple, and if it’s a bourbon, even better. Line the shots up, and gather your friends to toast to the American dream. A good old fashioned Jack and Coke works wonders on this glorious day as well.
