The couple
There is nothing wrong with being a couple at New Year’s Eve. You’re with the one you love, you have your first kiss of the year already lined up, and you can share the memory with someone special. What sucks about these people though, is they are either over the top, or you’re single and miserable looking at them. Sometimes they wear matching outfits, take too many Instagram photos together, or just straight up won’t leave each other’s side. You are sure to see quite a few couples on New Year’s Eve, so just slam another beer and keep grooving trying to find that New Year’s kiss for yourself.
The single girl
You know this girl. She is at every party you ever go to, and it is amplified on New Year’s Eve. Clearly jaded by not having someone entering the new year, right after she was alone for Christmas as well, she let’s the ENTIRE place knows she is single, and perfectly okay with it. Ripping fireball shots, making sure her ex-boyfriend sees all of her Instagram uploads and how much fun she is having being single, and wearing the skimpiest dress possible, she will be easy to spot. The last hour of the year will probably consist of a couple makeouts, a boot and rally, a picture of her shoes. The first 2 seconds of the new year will involve frantically finding a guy to kiss, most likely whatever is closest, or a kiss with her girlfriends. If the latter is the case, make sure you have your camera ready.
The bros
The button down mafia. This group of guys dresses the exact same in regards to style, and they are there to get drunk. Oh you don’t believe them? No worries, they will tell you all about how drunk they are going to get. Watch for them to dance around the party, getting rejected left and right. Most likely one of them will have a man-bun, and their bright button downs will be visible from everywhere. As long as these guys bring the keg to the party, they are cool in everyone’s book.
The pre-gamed the pregame
We have all been here before. Got a bit too excited about that night’s upcoming events, and ended up too trashed by the time the party actually comes. This person most likely went to happy hour to get the night started, and took advantage of the booze a bit too much. By the time the party rolls around at 9:30, her heels are already off, expensive dress she just bought is already stained, and one eye is falling asleep while the other is looking at you. In spite of all of this, you can always count on this person to give you a story coming away from the night. This is a person you’ll be talking about afterwards, and that is why this person has to exist at your party. Maybe feed them water instead of vodka because of the fact they drank a tub of booze throughout the day, but keep them around the party as long as possible until its bed time.
The sober one
The complete opposite of the previous person. Typically they don’t go out on the weekends, and that is perfectly fine. We understand people have their reasons for not drinking, and we fully support that. But on New Year’s Eve, you don’t drink and decide to go out to a party, you have means to judge the drunken buffoons having the times of their lives. The sober person typically stands there, drinking their water, and acting better than the guy that is talking to the fake plant in the corner of the apartment. News for you sober New Year’s Eve peeps, all of your stories stink, and end with “And then I got home”. Keep an eye out for the sober one at the party, and just make sure that you steer clear of them any time after 11pm. You know what they say, “nothing good happens after 11pm”, AKA your drunk self will probably say something you regret. And remember, they are sober so they won’t forget it.
